


In which spandex happens

by boredkitty



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crack, I don't know how this happened, M/M, POWER RANGERS AU, This is crack, because the power rangers are teenagers with 'tude, boyd is most especial ranger, deaton is zordon, everyone's the same age, just crack, kate is rita repulsa, this is barely a fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-16
Updated: 2014-12-16
Packaged: 2018-03-01 17:52:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2782145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boredkitty/pseuds/boredkitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Power Rangers AU no one was asking for. Now with more aliens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In which spandex happens

**Author's Note:**

> So this is what happens when I have ideas at 2am and then am encouraged to actually do something about them

He never dreamed to be a Power Ranger, a comic book hero ala Spiderman or Batman? Certainly; an intergalactic fighter covered in spandex and wearing a helmet? Not so much. It was generational, he thought, the whole Power Ranger hype was completely lost on him and resurfaced a just when he was old enough to think overusing the word ‘lame’ was, well, not lame (It was lame).

Being a Power Ranger was actually not lame at all. It was amazing, even if the spandex made him sweat at first and the continued feeling of paranoia that one day his clothes wouldn’t reappear from the place they were vanished to when he morphed and he would end up clothed in who knows what never really went away. He still was a hero, nonetheless, with powers, Stiles was the green Power Ranger and life couldn’t get better.

No, really, it couldn’t get better so it got worse, as in scowl, eyebrows, and a lot of man pain worse. It got Derek Hale worse, he was angry all the time, hidden behind his group of weird and annoyingly attractive friends, oh and they were all rangers too, because of course; they also came attached with warnings against and evil space queen that was worse than the weekly goofy alien menace they had to face because of fucking course.

Derek’s group also made them make chromatic sense (kind of) and wasn’t that outstanding, sure, Stiles wondered, but he was fine with the red, blue, white and green deal they had going, it seemed quite original and left them hoping that Lydia or even Danny could eventually join them, Deaton was incredibly cryptic about the whole ‘defenders of the earth’ thing, even if he was the one sending them to defend the planet and all that, when asked about the gloomy gang he just shrugged.

“Only four kids can’t defend the whole universe, and I’m sure I’m not the only one looking for potential candidates for the task” And then promptly welcomed all of them to the team, the level of the threat was apparently that bad. Deaton was also an incredibly relaxed sort of guardian of the universal balance, it was honestly worrying. Nonetheless the team grew, a lot, it was strange and then it was annoying and then it just was.

Then, Isaac developed a crush on Scott after something heroic happened (Stiles was otherwise occupied but he heard it involved swords and one liners and explosions; it sounded really, really cheesy), and their fearless leader decided that everyone should be friends and cooperate because Scott handled people having crushes on him apparently by adopting them. Everyone was thrilled (not really).

“Look at it this way,” said Scott with one of his proud smiles that made Allison and Kira snort and Stiles roll his eyes “If they’re around it means we’re going to need them, so we might as well have a good relationship with them, they’re not that bad.”

They were that bad.

OK no, Erica and Boyd were pretty cool in their intimidating ways (and whoever thought pink was a weak color they never seen Erica handling five goofy aliens with the sheer power of her legs, it was amazing and weirdly arousing), and Isaac was an asshole but everyone agreed that it was adorable how he followed Scott around like a lost puppy. What Stiles meant was that Derek Hale was that bad.

No one in the history of the Power Rangers could mirror his color of uniform with his mood so flawlessly, maybe his mood was even darker than the uniform, though, and he was the fucking black ranger, it was ridiculous, he was ridiculous, all gloom and darkness and anger and mysterious pasts.

“He’s not that bad, Stiles,” said Kira, because of course she would go and befriend the least approachable person in the face of the earth, they were pals now, she even started to wear a leather jacket over her white blouses “He’s had enough problems to last him a lifetime, to last _us_ a lifetime, believe me, Derek’s a good guy.” Stiles was skeptical but he was always skeptical about people, that was kind of his thing so he let the subject drop, shrugged and tried to be as accepting as possible, it went well, except that Derek hated him, a lot, it was weird, all that angry staring as if waiting that he would burst into flames at any minute was unnerving (joke’s on him though, Scott had the monopoly on fire and he loved Stiles too much to let him burn).

Worst of all, turns out they worked amazingly well together, Stiles had good chemistry with Kira, Allison and Scott, of course; the stupid gesturing and posing was reduced to a minimum now that they could understand each other easier, and by the looks of it Derek was the same with his gang (Stiles refused to call them friends). The moment the both of them got surrounded by a bunch of aliens that looked like, well, orange astronauts with crab hands, there was no gesturing or posing or even much talking, they just flowed around each other perfectly, it was almost as if their every move was choreographed and when finally the aliens exploded in a orange cloud Stiles could barely understand what happened. Derek kept the angry stares though, so whatever that was, apparently it was limited to the battlefield.

And speaking of battles, except for some goofy invading aliens, there wasn’t anything terribly dangerous or worrying around, not that Derek and the others were lying, Deaton could confirm an evil force lurking around the moon, but it wasn’t moving, or doing much, it was boring. Stiles was bored.

They got into hanging together occasionally because they were actually friends now and it was stupid to wait for an alien invasion to talk to each other, Allison pressured Deaton into telling the truth to Danny and Lydia and recruit them as the “smarter and prettier than everyone” contingent that assisted them in headquarters and could finally hang out with them without pretending to not know the worst kept secret in Beacon Hills history.

“You’re color coded, and no, shades of the same color don’t mean you’re not chromatically conditioned” said Lydia once “also your stupid transporter beeps when you have to go, it’s really, really stupid and obvious, you’re lucky Danny and I are the only smart people around.”

The night of the first real attack they were watching a movie (Stiles chose ‘The Net’ because he enjoyed watching Danny cry), the beeping startled everyone, even the neighbor’s dog, it was truly amazing no one figured out yet, when Deaton teleported them he was looking troubled and grim.

Apparently the evil space queen was on her way to the earth, specifically Beacon Hills to personally destroy the Power Rangers or whatever.

 “Shouldn’t she be sending an army or something? Like, attacking us for real? She may be very powerful and everything but doesn’t this look to anyone like really bad strategy?” Stiles nodded at Erica but hey, who were they to object an evil space queen, and her plans, even if they were really, really dumb.

The thing about villains, Stiles mused, was that they were very, very bad at giving up, and had very, very bad motivations.

Evil space queen right there? Derek’s creepy ex (also, gross) who happened to blow up his home planet (wait), leaving very few survivors who could run away thanks to Derek noticing the evil machinations of… Kate, who apparently was very fond of destroying entire worlds just for shits and giggles.

No, but seriously, Kate?

It was all very tragic, truly, Derek lost most of his family except for a sister and maybe a cousin, who were hiding somewhere in the galaxy while Derek came to the Earth following Kate (no,, really, no evil space queen shouldn’t be named Kate, ever) to finally stop her and finally get revenge from his family. It was really heroic and Derek yelled and attacked and got his ass kicked just a little while all of them were distracted by Kate’s army (there you go, Erica, an army) that was, well not that big but considerably powerful, the battle was long and difficult and when Stiles could finally clear an area to advance towards evil space queen (Kate was just not doing it in his head, honestly), he saw that she had Derek cornered, his own weapon about to slice his throat, and that would just not do.

The thing about Stiles was that he was freakishly fast with the right motivation, Derek about to die? Perfect motivation, he didn’t run, he basically flew towards the pair and crashed with the queen so fast that the hit sent both of them to the floor violently, Derek’s weapon forgotten on the floor. Another thing about Stiles; not the pinnacle of grace, ever.

The shriek of anger of the queen made Stiles cringe and oh, her screaming hurt, with bleeding ears and everything, everything stopped suddenly when Derek threw his weapon (a very flashy knife) towards Kate’s forehead hitting its target perfectly, it was really violent and slightly gross, Derek let out a scream of victory before fainting right there.  

After Kate’s death what was left of her small army just ran away, not willing to risk exploding for the sake of revenge, loyalty was completely lost these days, really, so with the threat finally dealt with they decided it was time to go home, rest, maybe check that Derek wasn’t dead or comatose and oh right, deal with his whole being an alien thing. Power Ranger routine.

Turns out not even his friends knew he was from another planet, they all had the same general story of him losing his family in a sad incident and turning into the sulkiest soldier of justice which, well, wasn’t a lie, they just turned out to have a very reductionist view of the universe, shame on them. Stiles heard all about that two days later when he woke up from the most satisfying nap ever (his dad stopped asking and Stiles sleeping for two days nonstop was most likely the most normal thing he’d done lately) to find Derek the alien (!!!) staring at him with a troubled expression while leaning on the wall, it was weird and Stiles got the urge to have Derek join him in bed, and _what_.

“You should be vegetative” was what Derek said, which _rude_ “Kate’s scream, it’s-was very powerful, it should- you should… you’re really weird.”

“And you’re an alien, apparently.”

Alas, exposition.

Turns out Kate was not the only alien with really a boring name, Derek is _actually_ his name and Stiles wants to laugh because his own real name sound even more… well, alien than the actual extraterrestrial being who saved the Earth, with a glorified throwing knife nonetheless. Everyone had to admit it was pretty weird even for their standards. Derek stuck with Stiles until his dad came home, to check on him, he said, since the attack was actually quite aggressive towards Stiles. So they watched a movie, Derek laid down in the bed next to Stiles handing him the laptop to pck what to watch, Stiles picked Men in Black, for science, Derek had watched it already, science was made of trial an error, honestly.

“I’ve been living in this planet for three years, dumbass.”

But he wasn’t scowling so Stiles considered a victory, then there was the kissing, which was another victory, maybe.

“You’re not leaving the planet to be heroic in other galaxies, right?”

Derek rolled his eyes “Yeah, because I’ve been wanting you for months only to leave right now.”

Oh, _Oh._

“In my defense, you pine in a very angry manner, I thought you hated me” Derek snorted while accommodating (manhandling) Stiles in a more comfortable position for both of them while cuddling in the most ridiculous manner, it was awesome.

“In my defense, you’re annoying as fuck, now shut up I actually want to watch.”

They were terrible at the whole feelings thing, Derek was more a show than a tell kind of guy and Stiles was slightly confused about the whole deal, Scott thought that maybe he was still hurt; Lydia said he was just naturally stupid about emotions, everyone agreed, even Boyd _, Boyd._

With some time Stiles stopped being confused and Derek stopped trying to show that he cared via intense and violent cuddling. Kira congratulated them all sunny smiles and horrifyingly perverted winking. It was all very bizarre, Stiles loved it.  

It went back to normal quite quickly after that, the goofy aliens came and went, Allison was still the most badass of them all (Stiles was sure she was some sort of assassin on her free time, given that as the blue ranger she wouldn’t need the arsenal she had at home, her father’s profession notwithstanding), Scott was still their fearless leader even if blond hair and douchey scarves distracted him from time to time, Kira was still, well Kira, and that was awesome, Erica considered to dye her hair pink at some point which was completely vetoed because there was compromise and then too much compromise, she dyed it purple instead, Boyd was still the coolest part of the team even when he got drunk and confessed the worst disappointment in his life was when he discovered that flea circuses didn’t actually have fleas, Lydia and Danny judged them all, but in a loving way, maybe.

Derek was still frowny and grumpy but now Stiles could kiss and make It better (with a varied success rate, actually) and they were stupidly romantic even with the whole cultural clash they had to deal with occasionally.

The goofy aliens still came, and they still fought them in colorful spandex, and maybe Stiles never dreamed to be a Power Ranger and fight evil with his color coded friends and alien boyfriend but honestly, and for real this time; life couldn’t get better.  

**Author's Note:**

> I made a notepad document about this like at 2am yesterday:
> 
> Derek's the black power ranger, Stiles is the green one; they hate each other until they don't.
> 
> Allison: blue
> 
> Kira: white
> 
> Lydia: she doesn't fight because fuck you she has better things to do
> 
> Scott: red
> 
> Isaac: yellow 
> 
> Erica: Pínk
> 
> Boyd: silver because he's most special 
> 
> deaton's totes zordon 
> 
> kate's totes rita repulsa or some shit 
> 
> derek's a teenager because power rangers are teens with 'tude k
> 
> i gave up on season 4 so none of that sorry
> 
> this is too short to have been drafted on a notepad doc first 
> 
> but alas 
> 
> so like silly one shot where everyone is already a pr and the same age and like new pr arrive (pr exchange LOLNO) and everyone is "..." ab it except scott bc he loves everyone and wants everyone to be frands, and their leader is super hot teenage derek hale and stiles is like 'fuck no' and derek's like 'fuck no' and the girls are like 'fuck yes' and boyd is most special power ranger and isaac is making eyes at scott who's ignoring the soufull brotherhood looks from derek who ends up as bffs with kira because of course. 
> 
> and lydia likes to pretend she doesn't know anything, but knows everything she even knows danny knows but they don't want to be in the middle of the mess until they end up compromised and everyone saves the day and idk Stiles and Derek have sex or feelings or smth
> 
>  
> 
> Clearly I'm a genius.


End file.
